In a perfect world you would not have to read this blog post, and I would not have to write it. In a perfect world I also wouldn’t be writing this at the orthodontist’s office waiting for my kid to have his palate expander fixed for the seventeenth time.

Mother’s Day is Sunday May 13. If you already know that your significant other and offspring are planning a celebratory extravaganza for you, not only do you not have to keep reading, I would appreciate it if you kept that information to yourself. For the rest of us, a bit of gentle nudging along with a few explicit instructions and a recipe suggestion or two may be in order.

You’re going to want to copy the following message into your own document and then print it out:

Dear Family:

It’s me, Mommy! I know how busy you all are, and I just wanted to take some of the stress off planning for Mother’s Day. I know you want it to be perfect, and I am worried that you are all putting too much pressure on yourselves.

Here are some things you can do the night before:

• Locate a tray for bringing me breakfast in bed.
• Pick up some flowers, and find a vase.
• Make sure there is coffee.
• Decide which recipes you are going to make.
• Set your alarm in some fashion that will not wake me up.

And here are a few recipes you might want to consider for that big breakfast:

• Lazy Oven French Toast
• Vegetable Frittata
• Aaron and Jack’s Popovers
• Crunchy Chewy Granola
• Mushroom, Caramelized Onion* and Feta Frittata

You guys really are too much—thank you in advance for what I know will be the best Mother’s Day ever. I love you.

If you want to attach a photo of a gift you’re lusting after, or an ad for a play you want to see, go right ahead. This is merely a springboard to get us all on the road to a delightful Mother’s Day. I’ll be thinking of you—cross your fingers for me!

*“Caramelized” is more fun to say than “browned.”